“Your psychology is not determined by your personality”, I have often heard something like this many times during my lifetime. And then sometimes after my input or from others it’s “ok, even if it is, you can change it anyway, you’re not confined to what a book or text says – I won’t allow myself to be that’s for sure.” Hang on, let’s just get a few things straight here… There’s a lot more to personality than a few simple online tests – then boxing yourself after discovering and then reading about your enneagram type for example. Or even your horoscope in the back of a magazine, newspaper or on the internet and then seeing that because a certain planet is in ascendant, it means there will be a new relationship and work opportunity and greater financial rewards on offer for you this month. Whilst we are all affected by the energies of the planet and outside of it in the cosmos – such opportunities will be there for us all at various times in our lives. And whilst I do believe we are affected by that way of looking at astrology – in such a generalised fashion it is quite trivial and trite. It is as bad for astrology as stage hypnosis is for all of the good work an outstanding Clinical Hypnotherapist does, whilst genuinely working for the health and well-being of their clients to unburden them of their limiting beliefs and any other unconscious issues.

I did about 7 hours of research on George Michael which ended at 3am two days after Christmas Day after the shock of his death. I was just compelled to do it. I came to the conclusion he was also an Enneatype 6 with a 5 wing. And he was also Cancerian. Just like me – the exact same combination. Cancerian’s are often thought of as Enneatype 2’s as we are natural “nurturers” – Diana, Princess of Wales also had this precise combination… Whereas Diana is often thought of as a Type 6 with a 7 wing, the 6 with a 5 wing is more shy and introverted, enjoying privacy and isolation… I could see George and I had much very similar personality traits. He was also obviously a truly wonderful soul, capable of great giving like Diana. But Cancerians are the “worriers in astrology”, and coupled with being an Enneatype 6 – the “worriers on the Enneagram” – it’s sadly clear he was self-medicating & had done so for many, many years. I know all too well personally that with this combination it requires a great deal of inner work over a great deal of time to strengthen the ability to relax into living & engaging in life and being able to simply just “Be”. He was shy, not interested in his wealth particularly and often wanted to just disappear into his Cancerian crab shell and only come out when it was safe again or things had calmed down. I recognise this pattern.

In 2014 and 2015 I had long chats with a beautiful old school friend who came back into my life. After 15 months of being back in contact, she suddenly died of a sudden brain hemorrhage aged just 40 on Easter Day two years ago. She was also Cancerian and an Enneatype 6 with a 5 wing. Mind-Body medicine theory relates this dis-ease to “serving themselves up on a platter as they are compulsive serve-a-holics giving to the point of exhaustion and holding back a growing resentment about it all which leads to bursting point.” That quote is from one of my books I use to help with clients in their health recovery ($129 book called “Messages From The Body – Michael J. Lincoln) and it has been incredibly accurate since I’ve been using it on myself and with clients since 2008. I’ve found over the years for it to be 90-95% accurate. She certainly was such a very caring giver but who worried a great deal, but as I pointed out many-a-time to her, “you need to give back to yourself”. She had already done much inner work and inner reflection, but she was never a client we just both loved to talk. Her death came about 2 years after a heart attack when her husband suddenly left her. Then 9 months to the day exactly after seeing her when she and her son came to meet me on my 40th birthday – she was exactly 7 days older than me, so 7 days after her 40th – I saw her in a coffin. With my lovely old school friend – who shall remain nameless – we both recognised the challenges we faced being this way. Both Cancerian’s, both Type 6’s, both highly sensitive individuals. We last spoke 10 days before she passed – she was still finding life very, very tough indeed, but she was optimistic and hopeful for a better future. She randomly called me and we spoke for well over 90 minutes that final time. I’m glad she did. I would joke “hey you know Tom Hanks is a Cancerian Enneatype 6 too?”. I miss her. We were too similar to be in a relationship, but we had chemistry… I still think of her. I know so many good young people now who have passed on. Cancerians are renowned for remembering well the past and she will always be with me. I hope her son is ok now living the other side of the world with the Dad that he seldomly saw or heard from. As for her parents, I cannot begin to imagine. They only had one child and one grandchild. My love is with them.

Another Cancerian Enneatype 6 that comes to mind was a very wealthy and successful client down south, London way – who I stayed with for a while. He was one of the nicest men you could ever meet and they were a really lovely family and treated me with such respect and kindness. And I am so profoundly grateful for the experience. One of his great joys in life I found out – was buying a reduced price bag of carrots at the supermarket and eating them on the way home, despite perhaps earning a 5 figure sum that day. “I do that!” I said, but only with carrots, the 5 figure sum a day has not manifested… Yet…

With George Michael, it’s a really tragic loss as he was clearly an exceptionally kind and generous human being who was also wonderfully gifted as a singer and also as a songwriter. His large, anonymous financial contributions are so much like Diana’s visits to hospital wings late at night. It’s just that need to nurture. Pure caring, being extraordinarily compassionate, genuine and authentic – and from an unconditionally loving place. I don’t blow my own trumpet about the acts I have done, but all I can say is I cannot stop myself sometimes. Under-age rape victims who have little or no money, homeless people, aged people with no family. It just makes me feel good – directly. I don’t need to tell anyone. (But now obviously I have…) It’s just that, what I know is that real unconditional love doesn’t want for anything. There’s no agenda. It’s from the heart and not the ego-mind head. It’s as instinctive to help and nurture. However and most importantly, I have learned to self-care, self-love and self-nurture. If you don’t meet your own needs – then who will? A partner is a bonus – but not a completing of something incomplete. You are complete. It’s just your ego thinks it needs something, so that when it gets it – only then it can “Be”. But it’s a lie. It’s all part of the magic that Life, God, Allah, Yahweh, the Tao, the Universe, All That Is, Source has created. All of this. Life is not easy. It is full of all kinds of challenges. And this is my personality. I am equally cursed and blessed – just like you. Yes you. You will most likely have a different astrology and enneagram type but no astrology or enneagram type is better than another. They all have remarkable gifts and pitfalls.

If you don’t get any of this or understand it that’s just fine. I’m not here to convert anyone. I write as I sense it. For me it’s like being able to see colours and the person next to you is either colour blind or colour deficient. Can you not see that it’s red? Which, where..? Honestly you cannot see that? I’ve come to the wisdom that we’re not all meant to see everything. And we are all only as strong as our weakest link. This is where I come in and help others to strengthen their weak links and where I benefit from continuing to work on myself. I have made a lifelong commitment to do this… And I’ve come so far in 12 years. I know if I continue on this amazing trajectory I’ve been on things are really going to fabulously change even better in another 12 years. It’s not my wish to be seen by lots of people – to stand out from others. it’s not my nature – in my Enneatype or my astrology – but due to the nature of this work and the skepticism that often goes with it – it’s essential. People often doubt it will work – and then they get better often so quickly and then they’re off enjoying their new comfort zones. I need a high turnover of clients. But that’s all ok. I accept this is part of the path and I will grow beyond 1-2-1’s all in good time… I have to keep stretching my comfort zones and boundaries to reach as many people as I can. I feel in time I will end up teaching this work to groups and audiences worldwide. Paradoxically, I don’t have a fear of public speaking, but I do like retreating away after and being still again as it’s not what you would call a “natural” thing. Most people would put the fear of public speaking over death!

I know I could have of helped George. Is that arrogance? Perhaps a little, but I absolutely know I could of – and for a fraction of the alleged £196,000 a year he was paying for treatment in Switzerland. It would have required huge changes and for him to commit – but if he had, I would have happily worked with him over a few years. Helping him to come off drugs, and ultimately find peace within himself using the tools of what I practice and also in understanding himself. With everybody in those situations, individuals have to be prepared to also help themselves – and although it certainly sounds like he made a number of attempts – you have to be 100% committed. Nothing can then stop you, only your unconscious mind. You have to just decide you are going to commit – and that’s it. All or nothing. I put a post 3 years ago after  George “fell” out of his Range Rover – which I felt at the time was most likely a suicide attempt whilst high on drugs – that I would “love to work with him” as this outcome which we all now know of, sadly looked like an inevitability. It’s alleged he was a heroin user for many years and drank heavily. He had put on a lot of weight and was an apparent chain smoker from what I’ve read – and at one time smoked up to 25 spliffs a day of cannabis. George died as a result of heart and liver disease, the coroner confirmed today. Thus the 52 year old millionaire died of a recorded “natural death”. I find nothing natural about that at all. It is all just very sad. But we are all responsible for our lives – every single one of us. May his family find solace in the lives he has touched through his music and generous donations. Whatever you say about him – he certainly was loved by many – me included, sadly though he never found it within I feel, to truly love himself and find his inner serenity which rests for every being underneath all of the ego-wanting… May he rest in peace.